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Hiding

I’ve found myself counting down the days to Mondays. Every day last week, I was wishing it was Monday so that I could list my thanks!

 

But Monday came today and I was grumpy and weary and didn’t feel like giving thanks. Snow fell here in the South yesterday, and all is calm and everyone is bundled indoors. And while the snow days usually bring a sense of peace and stillness to this crazy heart of mine, it only brought discontentment, weariness and restlessness today. In efforts to save my sanity, a brown Amazon box was opened and one of the girls’ Christmas gifts made it’s debut 12 days early. I now sit staring at a Megaland tent, complete with tunnels, doorways, 50 balls, all in primary colors, taking up my living room space. It’s much bigger than I ever dreamed it’d be!

 

And today I just wanted to go sit in the middle of that tent and hide for a bit. To still this weariness and the “everything is meaningless” mentality that crept in with the bitter December wind.

 

Because why should I keep washing clothes, and sweeping crumbs, and chasing away the same old insecurities, and fighting the same ol’ marriage battles, when they just keep piling right on in on top of me?

 

But there is a God who brings life to the ends of us. And the strivings we try to keep safely hidden in our own quarantined spaces, He does not leave alone. He quietly opens the flap and motions us toward real shelter under His wings. He breathes warmth onto our frozen cloaks of pretense and painful, but healthy, growth begins to sprout.

 

He holds my hand and helps me give thanks:

 

#48 new baby words

 

#49 a houseful of the effects of life with a family!

 

#50 early Christmas!

 

#51 a beautiful washer and dryer that someone just gave to us

 

#52 fresh snow

 

#53 down-feather

 

#54 a shared dinner with friends

 

#55 a beautiful Christmas concert

 

#56 greenery and red bows lacing the music

 

#57 an impromptu shopping trip

 

#58 a friend who cries at the drop of a hat =D

 

#59 homemade pizza

 

#60 movie night on the pullout couch

 

#61 Monday kept on the mind

 

#62 that he loves me and is still glad he married me, despite myself

 

#63 life-giving words about a day that occurred six years ago

 

#64 a love that will not let me go

 

And just like that, the burdens are lifting. =D

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4 responses »

  1. Your #62 is one I’m tempted to write for myself every Monday!

    Isn’t it wonderful how the weekly practice of writing down our thanks helps to melt away the cold grip of the “everything is meaningless” mentality? (I’m all too familiar with that mentality myself, unfortunately.)

    I hope you have a good week!

  2. I love your “but!” Wow, that sounds really weird. I could’ve written everything up to that point myself, so often I stop there and feel STUCK. BUT God…
    Great idea having the girls open a gift early! That’s exactly what they’re for! They get too much on Christmas anyways! (if they’re anything like mine).
    (What’s #63?)

  3. Lol, Lisa!!! =D But yes, I often get stuck in my own mire. So thankful that the Lord invites us up out of ourselves!

    #63 . . . sweet words from some friends about our wedding. Their words meant the world to me! =D

  4. Thank you, Nina! So glad you stopped by. 🙂

    And yes, so thankful to be doing this.

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