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Questions at the Keyboard

It was 52 degrees yesterday and the sun was shining in all its blue sky. The girls and I had a fairly quick errand to run, but after the better part of two weeks spent indoors, I needed just a few more breaths of that fresh air. Instead of steering the car up the mountain curves, I made an impromptu, hard left turn and drove to a local playground. We frolicked and played for all of about 20 minutes in the usually elusive, but actually present, mid-January sunshine. And it was heavenly, I tell you, simply heavenly.

 

As yesterday’s glum mood lifted, my heart also sank a bit as I thought back to my recent mood and how it has presented in my recent blog postings. Why have I been so downcast? And while I want to be an Upside Down Blogger, what is the balance between being too real, too vulnerable, too sappy, too much of a downer, and still being a blessing to others? I wanted to delete a few posts. Maybe all of them.

 

And yet God gives so much grace. In this space, where I so want to be used for His glory and be a blessing to others, He calls me to be vulnerable and real. It makes me blush and I am humbled . . . I am the one who is blessed. A few emails. A friend bringing over a pot of soup. Flashing texts sent from friends and family, checking in on us. Even my daughters reaching out in forgiveness after I’d snapped too harshly. In my wallowing, whiney moments, grace upon grace. You know who you are. Thank you.

 

But what is the balance? How do you write of your life, your moments, your struggles when it involves others’ lives as well? How are you honest about parenting struggles while honoring details and struggles of just-sprouting little lives placed in your care? How are you honest about marriage battles while respecting your spouse and the sacredness of marriage? And on the flip side, how do you talk about the good gifts of life without sounding like you’re bragging or trying to rub something in someone’s face? This is where honest blogging, and really community in general, gets sticky.

 

Any wisdom anyone?

 

So, dear readers (and Heavenly Father), please forgive me for the meandering through. Thank you for the grace.

 

You shine light.

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4 responses »

  1. Oh, Audra, I have been wanting to sit and write you a long e-mail (or drive over and meet you for a coffee, or tea, or whatever!) (No, I am not a stalker!), but I’m getting home so late at night that I haven’t had the time to focus. So I’ll write a little bit here.

    First, I LOVE that you took the girls to the playground! That is part of learning to live in the moment and be thankful right here, right now, for the gifts God has given us.

    Second, I’m glad your depressed mood lifted. I wouldn’t worry about the fact that you include your glum moments on the blog. I know it’s very encouraging for people like me to read your words. I have a hard time seeing God’s grace (or anything good) when I’m depressed, and it helps me to see you going through similar thoughts and being able to see the Father through it all.

    I have struggled with the same questions regarding blogging. I’m honestly not comfortable sharing a lot of personal stuff on my blog, but then I feel like it gets a shallowness to it that I don’t like. So it’s hard to know when to draw the line. For me, a lot of “spiritual” stuff is intensely personal, so I’m not even comfortable sharing that, even though I know there’s a whole supportive community out there. I end up feeling like I’m a little bit (okay, a lot!) less than the intensely spiritual and Christ-focused bloggers I read.

    I also struggle with “how much” to share regarding family, and others who are (or were in the past) involved in my life. I’ve written and deleted (or saved as draft and never published) many, many posts since I started my new blog!

    OK, I’ve rambled! Sorry I couldn’t really answer any of your questions … but hopefully it helps for you to read that you’re not the only one who asks them!

  2. Oh, I’d love coffee! Let’s talk! You don’t seem “less spiritual” in the least. I guess the thing to remember is that the blogging community can be wonderful in so many ways, but I think that God called us to live the nitty-gritty in real life, tangible, raw and beautiful relationships. How that falls into the blogosphere, I’m not sure…. Thanks for your thoughts, Nina!

  3. This is SUCH a big question! I wish I had a right answer for me or for you. I’ve definitely fallen on both sides of the spectrum (oversharing sometimes and being too vague or shallow others).
    Ya, so I’d love to sit down with you and just talk about it… Not that we need to find a right and definitive answer (i’m uncertain there is such a thing). But I KNOW you could help me process.

  4. Oh, I would *love* to talk about this! Maybe there’s not a definitive answer, but maybe small answers in the processing? I don’t know. 😉

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