We’ve only been married 6 years, Jonathan, and I. I am no expert in marriage by any stretch of the imagination. But when someone invites a discussion on marriage, I can’t help but get a bit giddy and want to join in, even though I’m a day late. 🙂
I’ve not a whole lot to say, no advice. I think that our marriage is probably a lot like many others and I’m learning the joy and awe in loving my marriage for what it is. I know that I probably spent the first five years letting our marriage sift through my hands . . . taking it for granted, wishing it was different. That we were different. I was so focused on wanting so much more that I was missing the fulfillment of what I had . . . and what I’ve had and have leaves me so very humbled.
The Other Groom has slowly . . . gently been opening my blind eyes to the beautiful nuances of my own romance. And the more He uncovers my eyes to the already-there-beauty in our own togetherness, the more I fall more in love with it (our romance) and the more I fall in love with him.
Because as a young bride, I thought that the truly strong marriages were the ones where the couples seemed “in love” all the time. But the more He grows me, the more He shows this thankless heart what true beauty is, the more I learn to love our marriage’s imperfections and how they drive us to learn each other and to learn of Him. Sometimes, I just need to ask Him to show me the breath-taking bird’s-eye view of the mountainous ups and downs.
Maybe this Valentine’s Day, instead of aching for more “love” through our girlish, rose-colored glasses, we can learn to embrace our real-life love stories for all their full, intended beauty….
What is your love story???
For us, we have lived in a cozy lover’s nest, and also in large, nearly empty rooms (read: no furniture). We have lived on love, wondering if we’d have enough money to make the next rent check, and we have stood in awe at God’s abundant provision. We have basked in love’s bliss, long into the night, and spent weeks on end, with barely a word spoken between us. We’ve shed thankful tears while holding our newly swaddled daughters, and at times, bitterly resented being “tied down.” We’ve spent a whole “date” cycling through tears (those were mine, in case you were wondering), yelling, and silence, and spent movie nights cozily cuddled on the sofa. We’ve argued over how to discipline our children, and shared eye-twinkling glances over little, precocious heads. We’ve spent solitary nights on the couch, while the other huddled lonely under bed sheets. We’ve spent days apart, one at work, the other tending to our little ones, where we missed each other so badly, our hearts literally ached. Other times we’ve quietly looked forward to Monday’s arrival. I fold his laundry, he washes the dinner dishes. I bathe the kids, he makes them giggle until our sides ache. We’ve sat, scared and anxious, in doctors’ waiting rooms. We’ve hugged the breath out of each other. We’ve nearly suffocated our love in our own apathy, and bravely drawn the other out until apathy’s shroud has melted away.
To me, this is the glory of marriage.
The daily wrestling of living the vows.
The reveling in the vows’ bounty.
I am honored.