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Hungering

It’s not really early morning here, but the girls are still sleeping (!!!) and I sit to myself for a quiet few moments. I wake up, hungry. I never really realized what a gift hunger can be until this week when sickness again emerged and my lack of appetite kept me from eating and my lack of eating left me lifeless. The baby sat on my hip, feeling two times heavier, and merely standing wore me out.

 

But if I just could have eaten….

 

How often do I do that to myself in other areas of life? Do I dull hungers, longings, dreams until I’m a shell of the person God made me to be? I’m away from His Word for days on end, and I don’t even crave it anymore. Or Him. I try to deaden God-given passions – maybe even needs – but they only manifest in other not-so-God-given ways. My apathy and fear halt me from the running after, and leave me sitting, lifeless and bored, mindlessly groping for something to bring breath.

 

Sometimes, you have to train yourself to hunger again.

 

This morning, I’m eager for breakfast. And I’m thankful.

 

And my physical hunger compels me to peer into soul’s dark, hidden corridors, looking for vaults that need the exhaled Breath of the Forever Light.

 

He awakens me….

 

We speak words . . . truth . . . and like a candle in the darkness, shine it into the forgotten and dulled.

 

The light shines through the darkness, and darkness can never extinguish it.

John 1:5

 

And I offer thanks.

 

 

#256 little red finch-like birds flitting on my front steps . . . the curiosity to learn of them

#257 to live in a community where the singing of birds can actually wake. you. up.

#258 the way the girls love their daddy

#259 phone calls from Dad, just checking up on me

#260 to make it through another round of a stomach bug

#261 a warm, fresh from the oven baked potato

#262 that Dove suddenly *loves* books

#263 Goodnight Moon

#264 even for “Happy Birthday, Big Bird!”

#265 finishing the Old Testament

#266 Starting the New!

#267 being indoors, being sick, making me realize that I need to get the girls *out* of doors more often

#268 U2 and little girls’ dancing in their car seats

#269 HGTV

#270 exciting music possibilities

#271 the way she puts a curve on her “R”

#272 realizing a bit more of my role in Firefly’s little life . . . that I’ve been going about it an unneeded way . . . hope

#273  hunger

#274 a full meal

#275 running into friends at a park! in the middle of February

#276 that because He has made it so, my words, my prayers hold weight

#277 His strength for the waiting

#278 black and white photos of Dove’s little face

#279 that our passions, our longings, are from Him . . . that we can lean into them and find Him in our lives

#280 to watch him

#281 that I don’t want to stop counting….

 

Joining others in soul-awakening thanks

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9 responses »

  1. Audra, your words today really hit me–you are describing a lot of what I’ve been going through in the past week or two. Would you mind if I linked this post from my blog?

    – a fellow fan of “Goodnight Moon” 🙂

  2. Audra,

    Thank you for your words. I was, once again, going to put off my lunch time bible study to do something else, but after reading your post I knew that I would suffer for it if I did not give the Lord my time. Love you!!

  3. I’m here from Ann’s today (again).

    First, we need sustenance don’t we – all kinds, emotional, physical, spiritual, mental – and when we lack it, we whither up – amen – I learned from that – thank you.

    And of your list this is my favorite is – #281 that I don’t want to stop counting…. (me neither – the more I count, the more I see, the more I see, the more I smile – smiles are good. 🙂

    Reading you today has been a blessing. Thank you.

    God watch over you and yours

  4. I’m so glad that my lack of discipline encouraged you in the *opposite* direction! =D I love you too.

  5. So glad that gratitude begets gratitude. Let’s keep on counting then! Thanks for dropping by….

  6. Oh this is wonderful! I love the analogy of physical hunger vs emotional and spiritual hunger. I LOVE # 257, 262, 279 and of course 275 😀 I would really really love to hear more about # 272. Thanks for sharing your beautiful soul with us!

  7. Feeling so hungry today… food doesn’t satisfy. It’s a deep-down hunger. Praying that God will show me what satisfies.

  8. Oh, then I will pray for you too!

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