So here I am. Yes, I’m still around, believe it or not. I’ve struggled coming here over the last few months (in case you hadn’t noticed -grin-) for a few reasons.
One being, time. Life has been busier. Motherhood, a bit more intense, even as my little ones gain more independence. Seems a little backward, no? Yeah, I’m trying to figure that one out too. 🙂
Two being, I feel like a different person than I was four or five months ago. I feel older. I feel less sure, while feeling a little more comfortable in these awkward shoes of mine, all at the same time. I feel I haven’t much to say worth reading, or maybe what I should say is, I feel I don’t have anything which feels safe to say. Safe, whether for your benefit, or my comfort level. I think it has been best to remain quiet here as I try to re-find my own voice.
Three being, God has been working on me. BIG TIME. There’s been a lot of grief. A lot of distrust. A lot of vulnerability. A lot of questions. A lot of insecurity. A lot of tears. A lot of discoveries. A lot of simply trying to figure out this real, gritty, not-always-neatly-packaged life and who, exactly, is this God in the midst?
And during all this time, there has been much waiting. A question from me. Silence from Him. Several weeks later, an answer. Or maybe more to question. Or maybe just more waiting. And it’s unlike me to post a “How-To” post and although, it may appear differently, this post is not a prescriptive list of how to do something correctly. Just things I’ve learned. And am continuing to learn.
I am coming to believe that everyone is waiting for something. Those somethings maybe be more obvious for some of us. A baby to be conceived. A spouse to finally come around life’s corner, nonchalantly whistling a favorite love song. A move. That dream job to come around.
But there are other things too. Things unseen that can not necessarily be measured. A relationship to mend. A spouse to know God better. An answer to some deep, heartfelt question. In some ways, maybe it’s safe to say that life is one, drawn-out wait. The things we wait for change over the course of our lives, but ultimately, we’re all waiting for resolution to our deepest longings, healing for our most-scarred places . . . for our Redeemer to come and make all new, once and for all.
So, I’ve learned a few things in the waiting for some of these things. No exhaustive, prescriptive list. Just a few things learned, from one lady-in-waiting to another….
While Waiting For….
(Fill in your blank)
- Draw close to God, even though that may be the last thing you want to do. In the waiting, I sometimes feel like God is hiding Himself from me. Like He’s deliberately trying to make something harder than it should be. And if He’s hiding Himself, maybe I should just go into hiding too. I am learning that contrary to how it feels, His silence is sometimes an invitation to come closer to Him . . . to know Him a bit more intimately. To hear Him whisper.
- Pray for wisdom and flexibility to His perfect plan. Sometimes His plan is completely different from what we think it will be, or even should be! This is made obvious in the waiting itself, isn’t it? 🙂 I, for one, don’t want to miss His unexpected gifts simply because I’m still looking over the fence, waiting for that other thing I’ve been expecting.
- Pay attention to THIS part of the story. What is He teaching me? Here, in the waiting? There is something He is trying to make known, even in the waiting. For some reason, the waiting is part of the story and perhaps He is busy writing me as I wait for Him to write the next chapter in life’s circumstance. Or maybe, He just working on some real, darn-good relationship building. 🙂
- Wait expectantly. “Listen to my voice in the morning, LORD. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.” Psalm 5:3 I need to be alert to unexpected answers! And I need to not wait apathetically, without faith, but with anticipation that He will move . . . one way or another. Perhaps waiting is meant to be more proactive than it seems….
- Trust the process. My hubby is a computer programmer. He is often braving new territory, trying to figure out new ways of doing things. This sometimes means that there are no written answers to his work’s dilemmas and he has to figure it out on his own. He has taught me that sometimes, the process is part of the answer! And sometimes, the process in learning an answer to one problem, brings multiple answers to many problems.
- When He says, “No” to one thing, it’s because He is saying “Yes” to something unforeseen.
- Keep living. Don’t give into the temptation to put life on “hold” as I wait for _____. Life is now, not later.
- If you’re married, trust that the Lord is using your spouse’s input and desires, even though they may be contrary to your own. There have been many times that the Lord has used my husband’s “no” as a protection for our family. Thank God there is a logical one in our marriage! 🙂
- Waiting is hard. As Christians, I think we sometimes feel the need to downplay our pain/grief/frustration/struggle when we don’t understand what God is doing. I think that this surrenders the opportunity of allowing others to share in the journey with us. Not only do we need our brothers and sisters to help lift us up now, we need them to celebrate with us when the waiting is no more!
Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD. Psalm 27:14