I woke up, literally nervous to my stomach. Rummaging through my closet, I finally found something to wear, trying to look my part . . . without looking my part. I’d been to these things a million times before, but never in this role.
The annual curriculum fair.
This time, it was my turn to be the mom and I was scared to death. Scared of running into my past, nervous about whether we’d made the right decision.
You see, starting next week, I’ll be a second generation homeschooler. Yes, the world of kindergarten is about to enter our home. I am terrified. 😉
Terrified because I was homeschooled all of my school career, save kindergarten and first grade, and I know the ins and outs. Mostly I’m terrified of losing my own identity, while not giving our daughter enough opportunity to find her own. But also about things like time-management and keeping my sanity. 😉
But I am also excited.
Excited because . . . I know the possibilities. Maybe we 2nd gens can build on all the pros our parents before us fought so hard to make possible, while taking all the lived cons by the horns. I remember my mother being wary of sending us kids out to play during school hours because of the fear of truancy accusations. I can’t imagine living in constant fear of that. Because of parents like ours, who fought for their convictions and aimed to provide better schooling possibilities for their own children, new mamas like me can fully grasp all those opportunities for our parents’ grandchildren. These days, DIY schooling is better than they probably ever imagined and we 2nd gens get to reap the benefits.
And I’m really not sure how we got here so fast. I still don’t know for certain that we’ve made the right decision, but it’s the decision we’ve made by prayer, and therefore, I will do my best to make it the best decision. Next year may hold new firsts, but this year, Firefly and I (and Pixie too!) are learning together and we’ll have shared memories of learning to read her first book and counting to 100 for the first time and a million other beautiful things.
So, while I’m trembling in my boots, thanks Mom and Dad. You’ve made this school year a possibility. And I salute you.