Last week, I work hard in my own, small domain. I organize closets and scrub the fridge (how did I not know the possibilities of its shininess?!) and try to be a good mama. I completely fail the latter quest (and really, the first one too) in moments where I contort, all ugly. Moments where my mouth screeches and only berates, doesn’t bend low to disciple. I ask forgiveness from two little girls, their soul windows opened wide, taking in my fleeting words of humility. The oldest says she can forgive and I thank her, knowing that I’ll have to ask the same thing of her tomorrow, and the day after that. It’s 98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed, as Dr. Seuss would say. He said that a kid could move mountains. I think on another, more laudable person who said I could move the rooted things, the seemingly immovable mountains, if only I ask.
I ask. And somehow? He can use the broken, constantly failing people – like me, and I daresay, you – and if we ask for things with the faith of the smallest of mustard seeds . . . HE moves. The Timeless One. The Ever-Abiding One. I ask, falteringly, hesitantly, more than a little doubtingly, but with just a small spark of hope in His power. And He moves.
He takes my stubborn, prejudiced, ungrateful heart, and transforms it, in an 180 degree sort of fashion. The kind of spin on my soul’s axis that only He can direct.
He works wonders in the heart of the one I love. Like only He can do.
Does He completely perfect things . . . us? By no means. But He hears heart cries and . . . He moves. How can He be such a Servant-King?
He serves us every day in this earth beauty. Common grace, I think they call it. I drink it in.
The common grace of a flower. Of petals opening and their sweetness wafting on warm, spring breezes.
And the grace of friends supporting, praying, lifting you up. Holding fast to you when you don’t think you can do life like this anymore – let alone, live it to glorify a Humble, Servant-King.
Of answered prayers and seeing the Gardener till and aerate our hard-caked hearts. A softness and life-giving richness is opened to light and beauty grows.
How does a Sovereign, all-powerful God, bend so very low and breathe His life and give His grace and shape our hearts? How do I not live in more constant gratefulness? I can only try.
Little, meager thank-you’s to an All-Powerful King, yet our humble Bridegroom.
He has bent low and I must count.
I whisper thanks.
#397 sunlight on all-white dogwoods
#398 water flowing over fountains
#399 hammock-rocking, side by side
#400 bubbling over giggles
#401 little arms, reaching up
#402 loving being home, with this little family all tucked and breathing deep
#403 the Gardener, tilling, aerating our hearts
#404 giving sisters who make wonderful aunts
#405 long walks with my girls
#406 side by side, stroller-riding girls, leaning over to love on each other
#407 also, more opportunity to lean on Him – call on Him – in learning to direct their anger away from each other
#408 that I can ask forgiveness, again and again. and again.
#409 yellow finch hopping on branches
#410 old, sturdy vines, hugging, clinging all the way up
#411 laughing, laughing, laughing with friends
# 412 the day-in, day-out, continual learning that I am not in control . . . giving up those I love, letting Him work
#413 a changed heart . . . mine. learning to love right where He has me
#414 that it could only possibly be His work
#415 balloon excitement
#416 flowy skirts in warm, Southern spring breezes
#417 silly pictures
#418 praying friends
#419 little girls in new hairbows
#420 being surrounded by beautiful brothers and sisters in Christ
#421 that we can take turns holding up each other’s arms